


If only they weren't bunkmates

by MariaMagica



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Ellie/Nyoka can be either romantic or platonic, Humor, Multi, Post-Ending, Post-Game, Romance, one captain and one scientist, pretending to have sex, self-indulgent fic, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21820930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaMagica/pseuds/MariaMagica
Summary: Tired of their crewmates' romantic shenanigans disrupting their life, Ellie and Nyoka team up and pretend to have wild sex to teach them a lesson.
Relationships: Ellie/Nyoka, The Captain/Felix Millstone, The Stranger/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	If only they weren't bunkmates

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those 'must get it out of my system' fics I had to write when I played TOW for the third time. xD Originally I wanted to do a pure self-indulgent fic with my captain x Felix and my other captain x Max, but was inspired by Ellie's and Nyoka's banter to try something else. Also the captain and the scientist (as he's called here) both have no names, because I couldn't decide which names to give them (please give ideas)~
> 
> Also apologies if there is any OOC-ness, I haven't mastered their dialogue.

Nyoka was so done with captain. Okay, not really. But sometimes she was annoyed with her. Definitely now.

After the Board fell apart and Chairman Rockwell stuck around as a shadow puppet to keep the order in Halcyon, everyone on the Unreliable went their separate ways for a while. Some journeyed to find themselves, others lent a hand in saving the colony from the threat of starvation. Several months passed where Nyoka's days were filled with Monarch escorts of important deliveries and valuable handymen, wishing for the captain's deadly aim when she missed a marauder in her spray of bullets. So when the captain asked them all back for several missions to help out Phineas, she quickly said yes. Even Ellie missed them all, though she would die before admitting it.

Sadly Parvati was needed on the Groundbreaker. In her place, a scientist who could help with... science-y things. Who cared for the details. Nyoka looked forward to be with the crew that was her family again.

Good thing Parvati hadn't joined them. It seemed with the lack of an immediate threat, some of her crew had descended into being horny teenagers who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. 

The first signs of problems to come appeared on the morning after their reunion party. Most of the crew sat in the kitchen, still sporting their sleepwear and nursing their hangover, having partied a bit too hard. No doubt they all missed each other as much as Nyoka had. Even though Nyoka didn’t remember half the things they discussed, her headache wasn’t too bad. Thank the stars for her experienced liver.

She leaned against the counter, drinking her coffee. Max was reading a book. SAM was cleaning the hold. The newcomer was tinkering at the workstation below and the captain was in the bathroom. Felix was absent, she assumed he was still snoring away.

Ellie had just finished her breakfast, her chin leaning on her hand. She wore that smile that told everyone she was up to something. “Cap’s been there for a while. She’ll be done soon. We should wake up Felix, get him here.”

“I don’t think that's a good idea,” the vicar said, not looking up from his pages.

“Why, because the captain might come out wearing only a towel?" Ellie said.

I chuckled. Felix had been dancing around Cap forever with his silly crush, and too bad for him the captain feared there would be an imbalance of power by admitting she felt the same. Even though she was just a boss in name and didn't hold any actual power over them due to the lack of contract and salary. Nyoka had told her so, but who was she to get involved?

"He sees her half naked, they’ll stew in their embarrassment for a bit, we'll laugh. If you want to place bets on who runs away first, do it quick.

Before the vicar could change her mind, Ellie started calling. “Felix! Felix, come quick, we need you urgently!”

What they expected was a delay of a good minute or so, with a groggy and bed-haired Felix sticking his head out of the door asking what’s up. Instead, the shower door opened.

“Yes?” Felix asked, all too awake and naked. Nyoka was grateful that she was just around the corner, barely able to see Felix’s wet head. Ellie’s shocked expression spoke volumes.

“Felix, close the door!” a voice that was only the captain's squeaked in embarrassment.

“Sorry boss,” Felix replied and did as commanded.

Ellie remained shellshocked for a few more seconds, before she started freaking out. “Wait. What? When?!” Nyoka pulled her face down with her free hand.

Max looked up at her. “The captain did mention last night they had gotten together some time ago, though it seems you’ve forgotten. To recap, I will spare you the… unnecessary details, but it boiled down to someone asking the captain if Felix was her lover, and the captain saying she wished it were true with Felix right behind her.”

That sounded hilarious. Nyoka planned on grilling the details out of the captain later today.

She may or may not have forgotten that thought when they heard a loud bonk through the wall. ADA’s voice rang through the intercom: “A reminder that there is limited quantity of hot water that can be used every day.”

Max sighed and returned to his book. “Congratulations Miss Fenhill, our bathroom will be occupied a bit longer thanks to you.”

Ellie pulled a disgusted face. Nyoka considered spiking her coffee with Spectrum Red.

And it was only the beginning.

~~~

Nyoka was so done with the scientist. Definitely, definitely so very fucking done with him.

With limited gas, Phineas began with waking as many scientists he could to ensure Halcyon’s best survival. Yes, there was no doubt they managed to help the Hope and the colony. And yes, it was good  _ he _ came along, because Phineas was going to give himself a deadly heart attack with how much he worked.

But why was he such an outright git?! That was the question Nyoka asked herself many times. It was a good thing Phineas revived the Captain as they know her and not this guy first, because something told Nyoka he would have backstabbed them all for the first corporation they met for as much as one bit. Whenever he wasn't bragging about his upgraded science weapons, he was trying to show off to Max. His gratitude towards Phineas waking him was the only thing that kept him in line. What she wouldn't give to 'accidentally' knock him out cold for the rest of their journey.

She asked the vicar why he tolerated this idiot. He told her: "He believes everything can be explained in numbers and leaves little room for debate. Yes, we sometimes clash. But we found a middle ground that works for both of us."

That middle ground was sex, as far as Nyoka was concerned. The captain insisted it was love. Whatever the name, it kept Nyoka up at night. For when an old man and an older man loved each other very much, Nyoka had to squash a pillow against her ears in the futile hope not to hear the things she knew went bonk in the night. Turns out the only time science man was humble, was when he begged Max to give him what he wanted. A fact she really didn’t need to know, want to know, or cared for.

She considered being petty and kicking in the bunker door to make them shut up, but changed her mind at the idea of having to deal with a possibly naked Max. Two naked crew members in a short time was too much. 

She opted for getting out of bed and heading to the kitchen to booze herself up and pass out that way. Interestingly enough, Ellie was there too, sitting with a glass of Zero Gee in her hand.

"Can't sleep either?" Nyoka asked while opening the fridge.

Ellie groaned, rubbing her eye. "I'm going to stitch their mouths shut. Both of them. How is Felix not awake?"

"That boy sleeps through an explosion, you know that," Nyoka said, grabbing the whole bottle of Iceberg Whiskey.

"Either that or he is downstairs with the captain. Lucky fucker."

Nyoka hadn’t considered that, but it would make sense. Now she couldn’t get the image out of her head and cursed inwards. "We should plant sprats in their beds.”

"Or pterorays,” Ellie grinned.

“Only if you catch them.”

They discussed the various ways of catching pterorays until the early morning, whereafter the captain found them passed out on the large kitchen table.

~~~

Even on missions, Nyoka found no peace.

Marauders always had the bad habit of dropping in when they least expected it, but they were used to that. It was satisfying shooting them full of holes before they had time to think. However, Felix tried to show off more than usual. He would take extra risks trying to get a hit in with his tossball stick, which led to Nyoka having to hold herself back with her machine gun.

After one heated battle, Felix swooped in to wrap an arm around the captain. He would then dip her and attempt to kiss her in a completely exaggerated way. "Just like in the serials," he winked.

The captain giggled. "Your nose is in the way."

Nyoka wanted to hurl.

Luckily their mission was short. They picked up the thing they needed, Nyoka already forgot what, and went back to the ship. For a moment, she thought she was alone, the rest outside to talk to the odd trader. Seemed like a good time as any to grab a drink. That's where she found Ellie, upstairs in her bunk with the door open, lying on her bed with her legs against the wall in some weird-ass position.

"How's your mission with the lovebirds? Hopefully better than mine," she said, stretching her arms.

Nyoka couldn't imagine Max doing cheesy shit and said so while leaning against the doorway.

Ellie scoffed. "I wish it was cheesy. Science guy kept grabbing Max's ass. Max kept telling him to quit it but didn't actually move his hand away."

Nyoka scrunched up her face. That sounded way worse than her ordeal. “I’m sick of this. I wish they would understand they’re not alone when they do this.”

Ellie got up and sat with her legs crossed. "What if  _ we _ have really loud sex?"

The absolutely astonished look Nyoka gave her nearly sent Ellie into a fit of giggles, which the freckle-faced woman tried very hard to suppress.

"No, not for real!" She managed to say after catching her breath, "We fake it. Make sure they can't sleep so they know what we're going through."

Nyoka raised an eyebrow. “Why would that work?”

“Why wouldn’t it? It’s a taste of their own medicine.”

"ADA's going to rat out on us."

"If the Captain had ordered me to do so, I would," rang ADA's ever-present voice through Ellie's room, "But she has not. So I intend not to do so."

"See? ADA's on our side. Be honest ADA, you're also tired of the four of them going kissy-kissy all the time as well, right?" Ellie asked the ceiling.

"The mysteries of human courtship are not one I intend to research any time soon," ADA said diplomatically. "Also, the captain keeps forgetting to send SAM to me for... cleaning."

Nyoka chuckled and rolled her eyes. Even the AI was getting it on. At least they were quiet. "And what about your precious 'rep'?”

"I think bedroom pleaser is an excellent addition to it,” Ellie said smug. “Makes me wish we could do it in an inn at Fallbrook, get the locals talking.” She was already elbow deep into the idea, looking at Nyoka with an expression that didn’t ask if it was okay, but more when they could start.

Nyoka sighed. It wasn’t the worst idea, plus she really didn’t know what else to try. And how long could she take this until she went mad and decided to run back to the sulphur pits of Monarch to bleach her eyes? Knowing herself, not very long.

“Alright,” Nyoka said exasperated. “Tonight, 12 PM, meet me in my bunk.”

Ellie gave the hunter an exaggerated finger gun, while Nyoka contemplated if there was an alcohol percentage level she could consume that made her as confident as Ellie seemed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Initially this was supposed to be a one-shot but I couldn't figure out if I wanted Ellie and Nyoka to catch feelings (thus creating the first ever romantic fic for these two, lmao) or to keep it platonic. Either way, I do wanna make it funny. Yell at me if you have an opinion about it! <3


End file.
